On the first day of Christmas, I sent my future husband, a collage of all of our kids.

On the second day of Christmas, he sent me back, two restraining orders, and the collage of our future kids.

On the third day of Christmas, I sent to him, three drugged meals, two violated restraining orders, and a collage of our future kids.

On the fourth day of Christmas, he sent to me, four search warrants, three untouched meals, two new restraining orders, and the collage of our future kids.

On the fifth day of Christmas, I sent to him, five promise rings, four denied warrants, three drugged meals, two violated restraining orders, and a collage of our future kids.

On the sixth day of Christmas, he sent to me, six house arrests, five promise rings, four more warrants, three untouched meals, two new restraining orders, and the collage of our future kids.

On the seventh day of Christmas, I sent to him, seven declarations of my love, six broken anklets, five promise rings, four denied warrants, three drugged meals, two violated restraining orders, and a collage of our future kids.

On the eighth day of Christmas, he sent to me, eight pleads to stop, seven unopened letters, six house arrests, five promise rings, four more warrants, three untouched meals, two new restraining orders, and the collage of our future kids.

On the ninth day of Christmas, I sent to him, nine ransom notes, eight pleads to be with me, seven declarations of my love, six broken anklets, five promise rings, four denied warrants, three drugged meals, two violated restraining orders, and a collage of our future kids.

On the tenth day of Christmas, he sent to me, ten bounty hunters, nine shredded notes, eight pleads to stop, seven unopened letters, six house arrests, five promise rings, four more warrants, three untouched meals, two new restraining orders, and the collage of our future kids.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, I sent to him, eleven locks of my hair, ten missing people, nine ransom notes, eight pleads to be with me, seven declarations of my love, six broken anklets, five promise rings, four denied warrants, three drugged meals, two violated restraining orders, and a collage of our future kids.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, he sent to me, twelve court notices, the locks of my hair, ten bounty hunters, nine shredded notes, eight pleads to stop, seven unopened letters, six house arrests, five promise rings, four more warrants, three untouched meals, two new restraining orders, and the collage of our future kids.